Dutch Gecko
From Interdex, the community-edited guide to the local internet.
Tehee, this is the *counts on fingers* 15th edit of my Interdex page! It says lots of bad things about me, but I'm not going to let that get under my skin. After all, Interdex hates everyone. Now let's see if I can get my latest blogophere2.0s-advertisements-plugin to work. 
edit: it works!
The above text reflects how this article would look if if was written by Jan-Willem van der Sijp, more commonly known as Dutch Gecko. He is, as his name implies, Dutch. And he puts quite a bit of effort into making that fact very clear to everyone. He currently lives in both the Netherlands and England, and is currently studying computer sciences at York University. He uses European-exclusive dialect way more than most Europeans do and doesn't hesitate to express his opinion about how stupid Americans are. He currently moderates Chit-Chat and Computers / Code and Scripting on ABS Forums where he seems to have taken lessons from Dove in how to trash posts for no good reason. This Dove-esque behavior is most prominent in the Computers section, where he doesn't mind derailing threads for the sake of goofing around with his e-buddies but also will also drive anyone he personally doesn't like out of his very serious forum.
He thinks that WordPress is a perfect solution to any problem, and if the internet was a suburb he would be riding his bicycle from door to door preaching the gospel of WordPress to all heathen unbelievers. He claims to have incredible hearing and the ability to distinguish audio codecs and bitrates. Unfortunately, he can't hear everyone laughing at him.
When he discovered that his Interdex article didn't exactly sugarcoat his profile he was pretty upset, and reacted by creating another Interdex page saying that people shouldn't use Interdex as an outlet for issues they have. We can only hope that he was being intentionally ironic.
He seems to believe he knows more about the US government and legal system than Tenebrae Vision, a military police officer, and that having cameras constantly monitoring public spaces is somehow better than <0.01% of postal mail being opened.
Though perhaps his most hateful quality is his utter disdain for the human race as a whole. He has, on several occasions, expressed his view that humanity is utterly worthless and should be eliminated so that the natural (homo sapiens aren't natural?) flora and fauna of the earth can thrive in peace once rid of our warlike, polluting influence. Awww, isn't that sweet? Think Voluntary Human Extinction Movement times Y, where Y is the number of inane attempts at reason he has behind this self-hating value system. When questioned about why he has not taken his own pathetic life, DG responds that he himself hopes to someday change the world, either through political activism or some sort of super-villiany. Despite this, he doesn't seem to live his life very much differently than the rest of us. Perhaps someday he will wear clothing made entirely of hemp and subsist on a tasteless mush made from rock mosses, but until then I think it's safe to assume he is a hypocritical fuckwit.
[edit] Quotes
- 17:48:47 <+raezr> Dutch_Gecko okay my problem is that wordpress is a pain in the ass and I had a horrible experience using it
- 17:49:11 <+Dutch_Gecko> and that isnt vague?
- 17:49:30 <+Dutch_Gecko> "it is bad i dont like it"
- 17:49:34 <+Dutch_Gecko> !!!!
- 17:50:38 <+raezr> Dutch_Gecko what are you trying to prove
- 17:51:00 <+raezr> my point is that when I used wordpress I hated it and I don't like it
- 17:51:28 <+Dutch_Gecko> that wordpress is fucking elegant software and that consistently claiming "it sucks" without being able to back up that claim indicates that you're a lazy sod who hasn't put in the effort to learn what is going on
- Raezr, is there a particular reason you want to get under my skin? Any at all? Because if there is, would you please tell me instead of pussy-footing around like some twelve-year-old smartarse drinking alcopops on the street.
- My grandparents were second cousins. I turned out fine.