Ovens

From Interdex, the community-edited guide to the local internet.

Picture the entire Universe, then multiply it by a million, then you might start to get an idea of just how large Ovens is. Seriously, if this guy took a walk through the park (which he would never do because he is all but completely incapable of physical activity), he would slaughter at least three picnicking families every time he scratched his ass. You know that dream sequence in The Nutty Professor where Professor Klump is Godzilla-sized and rampaging through the city? Ovens's daily life is similar to that in many ways, except he's not black and he's a lot bigger. In fact, Ovens defeated Godzilla. It wasn't really intentional, though. He was having a nice wade in the Pacific one day, when he had a hankerin' for some Cajun cusine, so he fished that fucker out of the ocean and ate him raw. Some believe Ovens was sent to Earth by God as a punishment for homosexuality and feminism, and most scientists are more or less certain that he will eventually bring about the apocalypse.

His interests include World of Warcraft and food.