Musophobic's former roommate

From Interdex, the community-edited guide to the local internet.

Upon college transfer to Montana, Musophobic was paired off in the dorms with an individual whose profound outlook on life would provide seemingly endless entertainment for the local internet.

Worshipping George Carlin, Slipknot, and Mountain Dew, Matthew (we'll leave out the last name) enjoys sleeping during high-traffic hours (and complaining about noise), pretending to be good at Everquest II, talking about himself, and writing incredibly "controversial" articles (for example, "Unforgotten Outrages"). He's majoring in World History and is taking dodgeball for academic credit.

At least 5 hours a day are dedicated to talking on his cell phone in his room (2 feet away from a real phone). Four of these hours are earmarked for talking to his girlfriend, who happens to live four hours away in Billings, MT. Three of those four hours are for teaching the kama sutra to her, and helping her control her PC muscle (which she accidentally discovered she could flex during a make-out session).